Adventures With an....Eccentric Neighbor

I'm just going to say it. My neighbor is crazy. I've had few encounters with her over the past few months, and I've only ever seen her sporting a pink bathrobe and slippers whilst smoking cigarettes. No matter what time of day. My first confusing interaction with her was last December, when she came outside in her "outfit" and blocked my way out of the apartment building, clearly angry with me but refusing to say anything except "don't move!" and "stay there!", while shooting me the most intense death glares I've ever received. And I've taken remotes away from kids and denied them candy the day after Halloween, so I know what I'm talking about here (I did it for good reason, don't worry). When she wouldn't tell me what the problem was I went around her and got to school. Because I had places to be. She went into her apartment and didn't come out for a few days, and when she did, she was syrupy sweet. I never did find out what made her mad. It was weird.

Flash forward to this weekend. Kristin was visiting, and after a day wandering around Perigueux, we came back to find her in a state about a small leak in her basement. She tossed out the idea of turning the water off, but said she wouldn't because the water would be cut off in my apartment as well. An hour passed, and her panic grew. She called the landlord, who is on vacation and told her to wait till Monday. She called over a neighbor, who told her it wasn't too bad and she'd have to wait till Monday to call a plumber. Unsatisfied, she called the fire department, who showed up, lights blazing. Because that's what emergency response teams are for, right? Minor household leaks. They seemed somewhat irritated that it was 9pm on a Saturday and this is what they were doing; when asked if the leak was bad, one of them answered with a curt "no.". Neither of us have the key to the utility closet, so they broke the door down and turned the water off, telling us that we could turn it on and off manually if we needed it. I showered at the gym yesterday and filled up several old wine bottles I had lying around (I knew they'd come in handy) with water for washing dishes and brushing teeth and making coffee, and it wasn't too big of a deal.

Then this afternoon, she called another guy over to mess around with it, and whatever he did turned off the water completely to my apartment. This was a problem, because I was about to take a shower. "Do you NEED to shower?" she asked. I did. So I had to shower at her apartment, which was about as creepy as I was envisioning. No fewer than 10 creepy porcelain dolls line the shelves of the bathroom. It was simultaneously hilarious and frightening. And her shower is really just a trickle so now I look like this:

Hopefully this gets resolved for good tomorrow, but this being France, I'm doubtful. In the meantime, I'll be showering at the gym, I think.


In other news, it has been in the mid 50s and sunny. Spring has SPRUNG! (I hope)